Archive for the 'Background Information' Category

Introducing: SFIW “Fog View”!

OK, I’ll occasionally talk about the fog here in San Francisco, but you’re probably wondering is it really foggy…is it really foggy today?

To address the nagging question that’s on everyone’s mind, San Francisco is Weird is thrilled to announce our newest feature: Fog View. A new toolbar option displaying daily(ish) photos from our deck looking north towards Sutro Tower (a really big radio tower on a hill near the center of the “city”).

As long as I’m here / remember, I’ll snap a photo up the hill so our readers throughout the world can get a sense of the current(ish) fog conditions. And remember, even if it doesn’t look foggy at the moment the photo was taken, just like California’s governor…it will be back.

September 24, 2009 - 9:03am

September 24, 2009 - 9:03am

It Ain’t Sesame Street

Bisecting the (relatively) busy Northeast corner of San Francisco is one of the oddest streets in the world. While its turn-of-the-century name evokes an quaint, commerce-oriented, crafty vibe – the reality is a large, peculiar thoroughfare that illogically rips diagonally through an otherwise sensible urban-planned grid. Virtually impossible to avoid and even more difficult to navigate, San Francisco’s busiest road takes travelers on a bewildering journey from opulence, to fabulousness, to squalor and ultimately to a happy tourist wonderland.

Allow me to introduce:

One Street to Rule Them All

One Street to Rule Them All

At the actual and symbolic beginning of Market Street, resting comfortably on the North-East corner of the peninsula, is San Francisco’s much loved Ferry Building, a large, nicely renovated, well…ferry building. The Ferry Building is home to a variety of high-end shops, restaurants and fall-over-yourself famous Farmer’s Market (Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturday). Notable tenants include super-fancy Vietnamese restaurant Slanted Door, super-fancy oyster farmers Hog Island Oysters amd super fancy coffee brewers Blue Bottle Coffee.

Warning: often overrun with tourons, I suggest not going between the hours of when-they-open and when-they-close.

Following Market Street south-by-south-west-ish, leads you to on a fantastical journey: The first neighborhood you’ll come to is the Financial District. This is where a handful of professionals gather very early every morning so they can be on the same time zone as the rest of the world.

Next you’ll come to Union Square (no relationship to New York’s real Union Square), a shopper’s mecca where you can momentarily feel like you’re in a miniature version of a normal American city. There’s super-cute versions of pretty much every store your heart desires, including a little Apple Store, a tiny Barneys, a teacup Bloomingdale’s and many more!

After a brief respite into the depths of micro-consumerism, Market Street plunges into the Tenderloin, a neighborhood (if it deserves that distinction) that both frightens and fascinates. Drug addicts shoot heroin, smoke crack with impunity and relieve themselves on the streets while San Franciscans and visitors alike traipse through the beleaguered alleys in search of the  theaters and live music venues peppering the area.

After you escape from the Tenderloin you’ll find yourself in the Civic Center - basically an extension of the Tenderloin but with large civic buildings, opera and ballet houses replacing the tenements, theaters and music venues. A bit further on leads you through a nondescript no-mans-land before Market Street joyously enters the Castro: a 24-hours-a-day / 7-days-a-week / 365-days per year gay pride celebration! The Castro makes Chelsea look like the upper-west-side and the Christoper Street shops seem like a conservative Pottery Barn.

The Castro is also the Nepal of Market Street, the last bastion of civilization and decent weather before the street simultaneously rockets skyward and abandons all linear characteristics. At the corners of 17th and Castro, Market Street meanders up into the foothills of Twin Peaks before it disappears completely into the fog…

A fitting end to one of the world’s weirdest streets.

Next week I’ll be posting about attempting to navigate on and around Market Street. Until then, please…be careful.

Bridge to Nowhere

The Other Bridge

The Other (White) Bridge

Similar to the international celebrity status of New York’s Brooklyn Bridge, San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge gets all the press around here. And while the famous red bridge is certainly good looking (at least for the six days a year it’s not completely shrouded in fog), there’s another span that deserves some recognition of its own: The Bay Bridge.

Equally tall and eight times longer than the Golden Gate Bridge, The Bay Bridge connects the “city” of San Francisco to the hamlets of Oakland and Berkeley (imagine the illegitimate love-child of Brooklyn, Queens and New Jersey).

I’m fascinated by the Bay Bridge for a few reasons:

1) It makes a pit-stop in a half-natural / half-man-made island called either Yerba Buena and/or Treasure Island. People may or may not live on this island, but there’s a marina, a few barracks of some sort and often a music and arts festival destination. Its  Governors, Randall’s and Roosevelt Islands all rolled into one, with a cyborg T-101-esque archipelago tossed-in for good measure. Loves it.

Half Island / Half Machine

Half Island / Half Machine

2) The upper deck COLLAPSED in the 1989 earthquake. Coming from the east coast, earthquakes terrify me. The roadway was subsequently fixed and re-opened a few years later, but engineers realized that it really needed a massive seismic upgrade. However, the “city” could only afford half the work, so they’re now in the process of rebuilding only the eastern span. The western span should be fine though, right? Right???

My terror about this fact is compounded because:

3) It’s hella long! Including the spans, the bridge is 8.5 miles long! Once you get on it you drive, and drive, and drive…just waiting for the shaking and swaying to start at anytime! Not cool.

4) It’s free (no toll) if you cross in a car pool of three or more people…adorable!

5) Probably due to its lack of international notoriety and difficulty reaching the center span (there’s currently no pedestrian walkway) there are only a fraction of suicides on the Bay Bridge compared to its industry leading Golden sister around the bend. However, with the planned addition of a pedestrian pathway on the newly constructed eastern span fans are hoping the Bay Bridge can someday make the big leagues!

Don’t Cross (Inappropriately)!

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Every foreign village has it’s own strange and incomprehensible customs, and San Francisco is no exception. One of the oddest, and most troubling for visiting New Yorkers are the rituals surrounding crossing the streets. Notably, that everyone here:

A) Waits for the light

B) Uses the crosswalks*

It’s truly a fascinating behavior to witness: A group of San Franciscans approach an intersection. They can see clearly for miles in both directions, and there’s not a car in sight. Hell, it may even be a part of town where there are no cars! But if the little man on the sign is red they WILL NOT CROSS THE STREET! They won’t even take a couple of steps into the road in preparation of crossing!?!?!

And when they do cross, they’ll always use the crosswalk! If you’re in the middle of a San Franciscan block and are in need of visiting a store directly across the street from you, you can’t just launch yourself into the street like a real-world game of Frogger. Oh, no…you are expected to walk to the corner, cross the street (with the light, of course) and then trek all the way back down the block. And yes, it could add minutes to your shopping day!

A Note for Drivers

The odd pedestrian customs effect your life too. Cars are expected to yield (AKA give the right-of-way) to pedestrians. San Francisco has turned the New York driving rule on its head, instead of pedestrians mustering the agility of ninjas to deftly avoid careening taxis, busses and perpetually agressive commuters, here drivers must avoid hitting pedestrians! It’s even a law!

Like intentionally bowling gutter balls or dining at a brightly lit restaurant, it just doesn’t make any sense and takes a while to get used to.

Good luck.

*Note for New Yorkers: “Crosswalks” are lines (typically white) painted on the streets near intersections.

The Fog.

Ye Fogge

Ye Fogge!

The third day of August, two-thousand-and-nine in the year of our lord.

Five-hundred-and-forty-six-days since I have been deposited on this strange land. While I have been documenting my encounters with the local inhabitants and their odd customs since my arrival, I have shamefully, and consciously, avoided mentioning one particular unsettling detail. Night after sleepless night I have attempted to put quill to parchment to warn ye, faithful reader, about the darkest and most treacherous symptom of this far flung “city,” but fear, confusion and a bitter chill hath kept my hand frustratingly at bay.

That is until this morn, when I could no longer bear yet another potential summer day callously plunged into darkness and cold! I have closed the shutters, latched the doors and hardened my resolve to share with you San Francisco’s darkest episode: The Fog.

Most days, The Fog creeps over hillsides and descends over the town, blanketing the “city” in thick, cold and windy haze. It inexplicably comes from nowhere and everywhere at the same time. Children may be joyously playing outside. Birds might be singing their joyous songs. But then the shrieks of maidens silence all as our eyes turn upward and spy the first wisps wafting over the surrounding peaks.  After a few minutes, a massive, 100 foot tall, impenetrable wall steadily gallops on, trampling warmth and joy in its path.

Be warned! It’s often very foggy here, especially in the mornings. It may burn off in the afternoon (as the locals claim), but it may not. And even if it does. It will be back…

A Few Good Hills

You may have heard that “San Francisco is hilly” or that there are “a lot of hills in San Francisco”.

Those are gross understatements.

This “city” is teaming with giant, steep and incredibly treacherous hills! And the crazy part is, everyone here goes about their day as if it’s completely normal to park your car on a 23% grade or hike-up the equivalent of the Appalachian Mountains to fetch a cup of  coffee!

So Steep, they added staris!

So Steep, they added stairs!

San Franciscans have adopted a series of intricate guidelines, rituals and even laws that help them adapt to the terrifyingly vertical landscape. Here a a few to keep in mind:

1) Navigate in Three Dimensions

Oops!

Oops!

In San Francisco, it’s not sufficient to know your way along a standard X-Y axis. Here you always need to consider the Z access before you set out on any journey. Otherwise, a simple trip to the tattoo parlor could strand you on the top of a freezing cold windy peak or at the base of an impenetrable cliff!

The good news is, there are a few well documented Hill Avoidance Routes (HAR’s), like The Wiggle, which effortlessly brings bike-riding hipsters between The Mission and Golden Gate Park.

2) Parking

Curb your wheels...

Curb your wheels...

Evidently, from time-to-time, parking brakes fail and cars have been known to careen down the aforementioned steep hills of San Francisco, subsequently smashing into buildings, other cars and people. This is not a good thing.

So the “city” of San Francisco has a strictly enforced, and easy to remember, “curb-your-wheels” law: If you’re parked on the right side of the street, facing up a hill, turn your tires to the left and set the emergency break (or use the easy to remember abbreviation: RSFUHTTLSEB). If you’re parked on the left side, facing down a hill, you’ll of course turn your ties to the left (or LSFDHTTLSEB).

3) Views

Actual view from an actual hill

Actual view from an actual hill

OK, so once you get to the top of hill there’s often a really nice view. That is if you survive the hike, or your bike has incredibly low gears or your car recently got its clutch replaced.

Good luck!

Wheelie

Still substantially cooler than rollerblading

Still substantially cooler than rollerblading

There’s a long standing debate in San Francisco about the coolness of various self-propelled rolling devices. The “city” is split among many different factions (without rancor of course, this is San Francisco) about which device is truly the coolest.

Over the last few months I have infiltrated the semi-courteous debates among tattooed,  pierced  and skinny-jeaned hipsters and I am proud to announce that SFIW has uncovered not only what the coolest SPRD is, but for the first time ever, an official, sanctioned, top-10 raking!

The Official SFIW

Top Ten Self Propelled Rolling Devices

  1. Skateboard
  2. Kid’s Sneakers with Built-In Wheels
  3. Bicycle – Fixed Gear (no fly wheel)
  4. Bicycle – Single Gear (with lame fly wheel)
  5. Long Board
  6. Roller Skates
  7. Bicycle (with super lame gears and brakes)
  8. Scooters
  9. Parrot / Thigh Powered Stand-Up Roller Thing
  10. Rollerblades

Squirrel!

OK, all kidding aside, how can you trust a “city” with no squirrels? I mean, I’m willing to forgive the 2:1 ratio of seagulls to pigeons and even accept the harbor is infested with barking sea lions (true story), but where the hell are all the squirrels?!?!

Yes Bay Area zoologists, there are squirrels over the bridge in Oakland, but there are none in the city of San Francisco. For the love of all things holy, the enormous Golden Gate Park is even home to a herd of buffalo (also true) but not a single squirrel!!!!

That’s just weird.

No squirrels in San Francisco...

No squirrels in San Francisco...

But plenty of buffalo!

But plenty of buffalo!

The Panhandle

Pan-Handled

As everyone in New York (and, um, the rest of the world???) knows, if approached by a panhandler you simply avoid eye contact, ignore the request and keep moving.

Simple.

Hell, it doesn’t even need to be someone asking for money…directions? Help? The time? Endangered child? Escaped tiger? It’s all the same:

1. Avoid eye contact
2. Ignore
3. Keep moving

Manhattan school children learn the mantra right along with stop, drop and roll. It’s just second nature.

Which is why your first few encounters with panhandlers (and there will be many) in San Francisco may be incredibly unsettling. Panhandlers in San Francisco are accustomed to (a) people being nice and (b) having the right to do whatever they want – including asking you for money.

So the normal tactics don’t work here because panhandlers simply think you didn’t hear them. They’ll raise their voice, follow you down the street and even (shudder) touch you! Yes, panhandlers here will actually touch you to get your attention if you ignore them. And unlike Giuliani/Bloomberg’s New York where homeless people are put to death for even blocking the path of the gainfully employed / showered citizen, it’s evidently not against the law for panhandlers in San Francisco to gently touch you.

But don’t fear, after many months I have devised an innovative and foolproof (albeit counterintuitive) method for avoiding the harassment of panhandlers in San Francisco. When asked for money, pause, look the assailant in the eye and say “sorry dude.”
I know it sounds crazy, but it works:

1. Pause
2. Eye contact
3. “Sorry dude”

The panhandler will shrug and walk on. It’s seriously like magic and it will blow your mind.

Good luck.

No Judgments?

2008 "Hunky Jesus" Contest

Winner: 2008 "Hunky Jesus" Contest

There’s a pervasive vibe that resonates throughout San Francisco: “people should be able to do whatever they want” (which is fine), “and without judgment” (which is ridiculous). Sure, you can be a topless grown man who chooses to wear purple tights and publicly hula-hoop in broad daylight (true story), but I should be able to ridicule you to my friends.

In New York it’s survival of the fittest: the good looking, socially normal and trend-setting survive while the freaky deviants are relegated to…well, San Francisco. In San Francisco not only do you have the right to be an overly-pierced, tattoo-covered, fleece-clad, patchouli smelling, performing hippy, but we all are expected to accept you – NAY, even encourage your eccentric “unique” behavior.

So yupeat empotor (conservative beware), I pretty sure it’s the law here. Just like having your own blog.

My Gift to SF Restaurants: The Dimmer

People here are very proud of their restaurants – it’s a point of “city” pride. And to be fair, there are a number of very good restaurants in San Francisco, especially when compared to most of the rest of the country (not New York of course, but we’ll get to that in a moment). There’s a big push for fresh and local ingredients (which is good) and decent selection to keep you discovering new places for a few months.

That’s the good news.

The bad news is that there are two overarching problems with the vast majority of San Francisco eating establishments:

1) Bad Lighting. I have come to the conclusion that restaurant owners here are so damn proud of their food that they feel compelled to use 600 watt light bulbs and targeted spotlights to shine full force on their glorious creations. Even most “romantic” restaurants are so bright that you never need to pull a candle over (or use the light from your cell phone) to read a menu. It’s just not right.

2) The Elusive $12 entree. While there are plenty of more expensive restaurants (i.e. $25+ entrees) and the “city” is lousy with good (and cheap!) taquerias (where you can eat well for $6), it’s difficult to find the yummy $12-$14 entree. Especially if you also want a good environment. Sometimes you just want to go out and grab a good easy dinner, like Three of Cups, Old Devil Moon, Bread in New York, Cafe Moto in Williamsburg, or roughly a billion other places in the surrounding area.

It’s just not that easy here.

BUT, I have found a few great places that have managed to capture the spirit, lighting and pricing of a great, comfortable and intimate New York-style neighborhood restaurant. They’re out there, but they not the easiest to find. Periodically, I will profile these restaurants (starting with the first entry on Monday), providing a guide of my favorite and will maintain links in a new blogroll header (to the right) called “Weird Restaurants“.

Bon Apetite. And don’t forget your sunglasses.

A Time for Change

A few months ago I posted a couple of primer about the SF transportation system (part I and part II).

While I had hoped my previous posts would adequately cover all of its oddities, a recent trip on the BART uncovered a fascinating new quirk:

Note: Despite the notable forthcoming idiosyncrasy, my previous BART posts/warnings and the location of your final Bay Area destination, the BART actually can be a fast and convenient transportation option to/from SFO.

No fancy credit cards please

No fancy credit cards please

A Cautionary Tale:

I arrived at the Embarcadero station, little BART ticket-thingy safely in hand. (As devoted SFIW.com readers will recall, BART riders must first decipher a complex algorithm to successfully calculate their fare before purchasing a ticket-thingy from the unintuitive ATM-like device. Finally, you are expected not to loose the ticket-thingy before reaching your final destination – since the ticket-thingy is required to unlock the turnstile before exiting the station.)

Like a pre-loaded Metro Card (sort of), I had a balance left on my ticket-thingy from a previous trip, but evidently not enough. A turnstile at the exit flashed a notice that I needed to add currency to my ticket in order to exit. I looked up and sure enough there’s a couple of “ADDFARE” machines nearby. I headed over but quickly notice a problem: I was not carrying any money and the machines, in a theatrical flashback to 1983, only take cash. To be specific, the machines only accept $1 or $5 bills. No credit cards. No debit cards. No $20 bills (not that I had a $20 bill).

How quaint.

How do they make money? Volume.

How do they make money? Volume.

Now, if I happened to have a $20 bill there is another machine located near the “Add Fare” machines labeled “Change,” which will turn your $20 bill to two $10’s and a $10 bill to two $5’s.

Yay technology!

But unfortunately, with no money I’m in a bit of a quandary.

I ask the (always friendly!) attendant what to do in this particular circumstance. No problem. He’ll buzz me out, I can leave the secure area, use the ATM-like machines around the corner (that do accept credit and debit cards) to add the appropriate fare to my ticket-thingy, then return through the security area (hi friendly attendant!), immediately turn around and exit again through the turnstile – this time with my now properly fared ticket-thingy.

I mean come on! That’s just weird!!!

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